Thoughts On The Eve Before Our Fourth Baby's Due Date

In the last few weeks, I have received some very inspiring and personal insight into my role as a mother. As the baby grows bigger and bigger, I am growing more and more uncomfortable. Sleeping at night is not as relaxing and rejuvenating as it once was. But, as I think about the times I have been awoken by the baby kicking my bladder, my aching back, or my numb legs, it feels like sacred moments which are less of a sacrifice than one might think. It's the same feeling when one of our children wake in the night needing our help. As nice as uninterrupted sleep can be, the satisfaction of acting as a nurturer and comforter is much greater. Most parents I know feel the same way. We change nasty diapers, catch vomit in our bare hands, change soiled sheets in the middle of the night, and wipe green goo from our children's noses without thinking twice about it. And--it isn't that bad. Why is that? I have decided it is because in those instances we are acting just as the Savior would (and did) if He were here. He mingled with lepers and unclean people whom others wouldn't come near. He never viewed it as a terrible sacrifice either. The motivation was loving charity. He loves us more than we know--just as we love our own children more than they will ever know.

This perspective has made a major difference in my mood and demeanor this month. Instead of being cranky because of my discomfort, I have felt a euphoria that I have never experienced. As a result, I feel like I am a sweeter wife and kinder mother. Usually, my kids' messes and misbehavior are met by my scolding them, but lately I am hugging them and loving them more. It seems like they are being more obedient and sweeter, too. I only ask once for them to bathe themselves or get dressed and they willingly do what I ask. Tonight Kade came into the kitchen and I asked him to help me set the table. He quickly replied, "I was just coming in to do that, Mom."

I find myself completely enjoying the time I have with each of my children at home. While Grace is at school, Kathryn naps, leaving precious time for Kade and me to be together. We learn new letters of the alphabet, read books, draw pictures, and do little projects. Earlier this month he helped me make caramel corn to donate to Grace's school Fall Festival. He is a totally different boy when he has my full attention. He is happy looks forward to our afternoons together just as much as I do.

When Kade goes to his biweekly morning play date, Grace and I have an hour to do fun things. She helps me deliver fliers for Relief Society, do a craft together, fold laundry--whatever needs done. It's not a chore when she has my attention, and she talks my ear off about everything from her new friends to what she is learning in school.

Often, after homework is done, Kade and Grace get invited to play at a friend's house. That leaves Kathryn and me an hour to play. Most of the time, we go outside so I can push her in the swing. She giggles and jabbers as she swings back and forth nonstop for an hour. It's so cute.

When it is time for me to get something done, these three play phenomenally well together. I caught them outside last night making "soup" out of grass and mud. They set their little picnic table and pretended to have their own dinner.

And, now, here I am. The nesting is complete. My house is as clean as it can be, the freezer is stocked with meals and snacks, the kids are caught up on vaccines and pediatric appointments, the baby's clothes are neatly folded in his drawer, and my hospital bag is packed. I've even taken my pre-delivery tummy photo. There's nothing left to do but wait for this baby. Tomorrow I start walking to induce labor.